Neon Genesis Evangelion Season 2 Zany Antics
by J.G. The Gamer
Summary: This is it! The Zany Antics of the Evangelion cast based on my Season 2 fic. What kinds of adventures will they go on?
1. Elly, Mistress of Disguise

A/N: Okay, here's the first of the Zany Antics. This will NOT be easy for me, as I am currently fighting a writer's block when it comes to this. But I must keep a promise. Just another note though, anything in these stories may or may not be connected with my Season 2 fic. If confused by this at all, refer to my profile.

Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Elly is a master of disguise. Who will she impersonate next? On with it!

Elly Simpson was worn out and indeed bored out of her face. She hated being the only EVA pilot that lived at NERV.

She lay back on her bed. She was dressed in some pink summer clothes, but she didn't feel like going to the beach. As far as she was concerned, this country was more boring than an episode of Survivor. "They should come out with Survivor NERV," she said aloud. "How would they survive should a Black Angel show up? We've only fought two so far. That's probably another fifteen unaccounted for. I'd want Asuka voted out of NERV so I could have Shinji all to myself!" She giggled at the thought. "Then vote out Commander Ikari. People would cheer to see him go."

That's when she heard her stomach growling. On instinct, she decided to go to the cafeteria and get something to eat. So up off the bed she went.

NERV was indeed very quiet, unless one of the technicians was talking or somebody was humming some catchy show tune. Gendo Ikari was not going to be in today, so NERV was indeed very quiet. No big operations would be planned either. So that meant Vice-Commander Fuyutski was in charge today, which for some reason, the other technicians treated these days as "goof off days".

Once she got to the cafeteria, she gazed upon the menu. She had seen this menu everyday since she began living here. So it wasn't difficult to come up with what she wanted to eat. While the cooks were making her lunch, she wondered if she would ever be able to leave the facility and live somewhere else. But Dr. Akagi had told her she wouldn't be able to live somewhere else for two reasons. One, which was that there was nowhere else for her to go that someone, could be trusted to care for her. Two, was because of the tank theft incident, she was to be under watch at all times.

Finally, her lunch was ready. So she sat down by herself at a table and pondered what was going to happen today. Maybe she should hold another sleepover like she had done before. And this time she could invite Shinji over too. She just loved trying to take Shinji away from Asuka. All this just to see the red-headed bitch go off like an N2 mine. She knew deep down she would never be Shinji's girlfriend, Elly just loved to piss off Asuka.

A sudden memory came back to her. The memory of when she was ordered by Gendo Ikari to keep a very sharp eye on that mahogany-headed bitch Mana Kirishima. There was one way to steal away Shinji, and then there was Mana's way, which she saw as just plain dirty. Elly remembered how she disguised as a janitor when she saw Mana head for the bathroom. Her disguise had worked rather well as it had Mana fooled completely, so Elly got an idea. A cool idea. An idea that looked like loads of fun. An idea that made her inhale the rest of her lunch.

She rushed back to her room, nearly knocking down Maya Ibuki as she barreled to her room. Once she was inside, she checked a trunk she had that was full of random clothing. She found what she had needed. So she began her chant.

"Become another person… Become another person… Become another person… Become another person… Become another person…"

A/N: Yeah I got this from the Master of Disguise. I'll say right now I do not own any of that either.

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NERV HQ – Battle Station

The technicians were taking full advantage of the "goof off day". Shigeru was tuning up the strings on his favourite guitar. He still wasn't satisfied with the current tuning and he continued to tune.

Makoto was reading manga books. He was on a new series called "Star Light". And he was really getting into it. It was about a group of kids who were trying to get an education at a military academy.

Maya was deep into a novel she had bought a few days ago. It was about two people who had a long distance relationship over the Internet, and the when the two finally met, they were surprised at what they saw.

Suddenly, Maya was brought out of her concentration of her novel by someone coming into the room. It was a woman with blonde hair and a white jacket. "Uh, what is it Doctor?" asked Maya as her superior came into the room.

"Something up Doc?" said Makoto also looking up from his graphic novel.

"Why are all of you goofing off?" a very angry Ritsuko inquired.

"Uhh, because we have nothing to do," replied Shigeru.

"Do you know the importance of your job? Did you forget that our performance can mean the fate of the entire planet?" Ritsuko was very angry. "The next person I see goofing off will be answering to Commander Ikari. Do I make myself clear!"

"Y-yes ma'am" answered the technicians in unison.

And with that, Ritsuko stormed out of the room, leaving three very frightened employees.

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Ritsuko Akagi then went into Elly's room. She just stood there for a second, and then burst out laughing. "Oh my god. The look on their faces. I think I just made them shit their pants!" Ritsuko then pulled at her hair… to reveal a mask? Once the mask was pulled over the wearer's head, the wearer's pink hair could be seen. It was Elly! She had completely impersonated Ritsuko, matched her personality, and with a few secrets only known to masters of disguise, matched her height and body size.

"That was so much fun! I wonder who I should pretend to be next." Once Elly had finished pulling the entire disguise off, she saw the real Dr. Akagi walk by her room and wave hi, not noticing the costume Elly had just taken off. That's when Elly's next idea came in. "It won't be easy, but I think I can pull it off."

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Ritsuko's Office

Ritsuko decided to come in a little late today. Nothing big was happening today. Commander Ikari wasn't even going to be in today. She figured she didn't even have to stay that long. Just make a few procedural checks, a few words to the technicians, and she could probably go home, if there wasn't any problems. There weren't even any sync tests scheduled for today.

Ritsuko checked a memo from Commander Ikari. He was inquiring if she had gotten more information on when EVA Units 01 and 02 had fused together. "Well apparently, he'll be disappointed at the fact that we probably know as much as he does."

She heard someone behind her. "Would I?" said a man's voice. Ritsuko turned around to face who it was and gasped.

"C-Commander? What are you doing here?"

Gendo appeared to pause for a moment. "Did you… get the message I sent?" he asked with some hesitation in his voice.

Ritsuko didn't catch the hesitation apparently. His presence alone could intimidate anyone, especially the fact that she was his former lover after her mother Naoko and his wife Yui. "Yes I did Commander," she replied, trying her absolute best to look professional. "We're still trying to determine the factors that made it happen. I think that the only way to get a lead on this is to ask Shinji and Asuka about what happened."

Gendo paused again for reasons unknown. "Good. That is all." The Supreme Commander of NERV then turned the other way and left. "I want results soon though."

"Understood."

And with that, Gendo left Ritsuko's office. He walked down the hall, being as intimidating as ever. He got people to salute him; he even chewed out one employee and told him he would never work in a civilized place if he screwed up again. Finally, Gendo made his way to Elly's room and shut the door. Then a girl's laugh could be heard from Gendo? It was Elly again! She impersonated Gendo Ikari, and it fooled everyone as well!

"Oh my fucking god, that was AWESOME!" she said aloud. "I swear, Ritsuko just about wet herself, and I think that guy actually shit his pants. Now there's one more guy I need to make an ass out of to make this scheme complete."

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The halls of NERV (dark, quiet, and gloomy)

It was indeed another lazy day at work. Sometimes Fuyutski would want one of the Black Angels to show up. Then at least the facility would look like it had some life in it. Gendo Ikari had left him in charge for the day, and all he would relatively tell the workers were to be at their posts should something occur. That way, they could find some way to pass the time, and be ready in case something out of the ordinary should happen.

He heard somebody else walking down the hallway. So by natural instinct, he turned around to see who it was. He was actually surprised to see the person he saw standing behind him. "I didn't expect to see you here today Gendo," he said to his superior.

"I realized I had things to do," said Gendo. "So I decided to come and get them over with."

"I see," replied Fuyutski. He wasn't vocal about it, but he knew something was up with his superior. Gendo Ikari was never the type to leave ANYTHING unchecked. "Forgetting you had something to do, that's a rare occurrence."

"We are all human, we can all make mistakes," countered Gendo right back.

Now Fuyutski was certain that something was not right at all with his commander. 'Wait. What's that smell?' He could smell an aroma in the air. 'It smells like… strawberries.' And it was coming from Gendo. "Commander. What's with the strawberry perfume?"

Gendo was very still for a few seconds, as if he was coming… or trying to come up with a legitimate answer. "I was… fraternizing with Dr. Akagi."

Fuyutski now knew beyond a reasonable doubt that whoever was pretending to be Gendo was NOT doing a good job. "All right you faker," he started with a touch of anger in his voice. "I know you're lying."

"I am not lying."

"Yes you are, and I can prove it," replied Fuyutski. "I know you broke off your relationship with Dr. Akagi after Third Impact. Elly Simpson, before the wrong person catches you with that disguise, I suggest you discard it immediately before I will notify the real Commander Ikari."

"How did you know?" Elly's voice could be heard now.

Fuyutski narrowed his eyes. "Only one person wears so much strawberry perfume in NERV HQ, and Dr. Akagi uses blueberry perfume. If you get rid of that costume immediate this incident will never be spoken of. So get moving."

Elly quickly darted back to her room, her pride slightly damaged at not being able to fool the Vice-Commander. Once she made it back to her room, she took off the Gendo costume, cut it up with scissors she had, and threw the contents into the garbage.

"Damn!" she said aloud. "If I can't fool him, then I know I won't be able to fool Commander Ikari by pretending to be his dead wife!"

A/N: And there you have it! The first of the zany antics. R&R people. Be nice, and be honest. And remember, you can vote for whatever zany antic you want me to write next. Until next time, be cool!


	2. A day in PenPen's Life

Well, you asked for it, and you got it. The next Zany Antic! And all of this from Pen-Pen's POV. I'll give a bit of warning. Pen-Pen has quite the bad language, even if he can't speak it. And there's also some very suggestive content as well. It's implied. I'm going to take Pen-Pen's POV from Chapter 36 of Season 2. So glue your eyes to the screen and your backs to the chair. On with it!

A/N: Pen-Pen's thoughts are bolded.

Pen-Pen was up watching TV with Zack again. It would be with Zack if he hadn't fallen asleep in his spot on the pullout couch. It was perhaps about quarter after two in the morning, and Pen-Pen was hooked on this show Zack had shown him. It was this show called Jerry Springer.

He then heard something of a loud gasp from Shinji and Asuka's room. From the looks of things, they were still up. 'Oh just get it on, you two. You're already assumed to be married.' Pen-Pen listened to them talk for a bit. Apparently, he was wrong about them doing anything naughty, it was just Shinji having a bad dream. Knowing he should go to bed himself, he waddled his way back to his small cubicle, and went to sleep knowing what he'd hear tomorrow morning.

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That morning

Pen-Pen heard Zack wake up. '**Did that guy have to be so loud when he woke up?**' So it could be safe to say he wouldn't be getting any more sleep. Deciding not to fight it any longer, he made his way out of his small icebox. He then saw Zack, Rei, and Ivana waiting for something at the table. Apparently, they were waiting for Shinji to fill their hungry bellies.

Pen-Pen then remembered that Shinji and Asuka were up late last night. Hopefully they didn't do it and Shinji really did have a nightmare because then he would have to deal with taunting and cheering from Zack and have to overhear a lecture from Misato. Two things he was not in the mood for. Pulling a beer out of the fridge helped him relax a bit.

"Wonder why Shinji isn't up yet," said Zack. "Not really like him to be sleeping in. We need real food for breakfast."

"Then why don't you go wake him up?" suggested Ivana. "That way we could eat something."

"Good point. Rei, go wake up Shinji for us. And Asuka can be woken up too I guess."

"Understood." Rei then proceeded toward the newlyweds' room.

Pen-Pen was shocked. That had to be one of the biggest forms of laziness he had ever seen, next to Misato waking up Shinji while she was at the table to get her a beer. Anyway, he knew he was going to be getting something to eat.

Snapping out of his current thought, he saw Rei come back with Shinji and Asuka in tow. So far, at least they didn't look like they did it last night. Right as he was about to dismiss the thought…

"About time!" said Zack. "Well Shinji, you slept in. I figured Asuka kept you up all night with the new moves she wanted to try! Maybe she wants to bear your child!"

Asuka went red at this remark. She was ready to kick Zack's ass when Ivana's fist met his head before Asuka's did. Zack quickly shut up.

"Thank you Ivana for putting Casanova in his place," said Asuka.

"No problem. I am always willing to help out a comrade," replied the Russian. "So what is for breakfast?"

Shinji looked over his ingredients before making a decision. "From the looks of things, we are having eggs, toast, and sausages." Everyone didn't mind the blandness of the meal. If it was Shinji cooking, it will taste excellent no matter what. Even Pen-Pen himself looked forward to Shinji's cooking. He was so glad that Misato decided to take him in. He could swear on Mama Penguin's poached carcass that whatever Misato was cooking was not even edible for human consumption. One time in particular was when Misato had invited Ritsuko over for dinner and they had instant curry. He thought he was dead. But the constant pain in his stomach reminded him he was still alive.

Speaking of Misato, there she was, in her usual hangover state. He wondered why she wasn't used to it by now. As usual, she took her beer can out of the fridge, chugged down half the can… "YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" followed by a burp. "That's the way to start your morning! Wow, Shinji's cooking! This'll be exciting!"

Pen-Pen wondered to himself how old his master was really. She was supposed to be 29, but she acted like an overexcited 15-year old. Once breakfast was served, Shinji also got out a fish for him. That was what Pen-Pen liked to eat in the morning.

Once he was done, he watched the others eat. With the exception of Rei and Ivana, the others ate like there was no tomorrow. Pen-Pen wasn't a human, so he could be an exception to lack of manners. '**But there's no excuse for humans being able to eat without etiquette**.'

Misato then remembered something. "Say Shinji. Isn't your father coming today?"

"Yeah, that's what he said. He'd be here at 11:30am," replied Shinji.

"Then I advise you be ready by then. He'll be here at 11:30 sharp. That is absolute."

"Okay," replied Shinji. "I'm gonna go use the shower so I'll be ready." And with that, he left for the bathroom.

Pen-Pen had never seen Shinji's father. But the numerous rumours that he was the biggest asshole were becoming more and more frequent. He was so glad that he had Mama and Papa Penguin for parents before they were both mercilessly poached by a couple of drunk poachers.

So Shinji was leaving today. Hopefully Misato will take the others with her. Pen-Pen loved the moments when he could have the TV and the house to himself. Then he could watch Jerry Springer on the English channels. He himself didn't know English, save for a few words he picked up from Zack, but the TV had subtitles, so he could follow along with the show. '**If only these brats would leave**.'

Misato looked at the penguin. "Something on your mind Pen-Pen?"

"WARK! WARK!" '**Obviously there's something on my mind**. **When are you and the rest of the brats leaving the house**?'

And so Pen-Pen had to put up with Zack and Asuka exchanging threats and insults for about half an hour. It was now 10:30am, one hour before Shinji was to leave. Why could they do something quiet for once? Like when Zack watches Jerry Springer with Elly when he goes over to NERV, or Asuka locking lips with Shinji. Or even be able to do something else quiet on their own, like how Rei was like dead to the world with her silence, or Ivana who was now watching TV. Or Misato enjoying her beer.

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55 minutes later, and still no peace of mind for our beloved penguin

"Behold the ticking clock!" said Zack as they all waited for Gendo to arrive. It was 11:25 and they were waiting for the Commander to show up and get Shinji.

"Wow Zack. You've managed to make the ticking of a clock VERY irritating," replied Misato.

'**I couldn't agree with you any more Master**,' thought Pen-Pen to himself.

"Hey. Just saying it like it is."

Misato then had a few words for Shinji. "Shinji, whatever happens, don't be scared. Answer every question he asks you, even if your answer sounds stupid. And remember, the asshole IS trying to make amends, so be understanding. And most importantly," she said with a wink. "Have fun."

"Okay Misato," said Shinji.

"I hope you're ready Shinji," said Asuka. "It's not everyday someone goes into the belly of the beast!"

"He'll be fine!" replied Zack. "He sleeps with the beast every night!"

'**Uh oh**.'

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Asuka threw a pillow off the couch at Zack. Zack catches it and throws it right back. However his aim is off and he hits Ivana in the head.

'**Double uh oh**.'

"OH SHIT!" Zack runs into the kitchen to get away from Ivana. Ivana takes the pillow and whips it at Zack, catching him in the back of the head and taking him down.

If Pen-Pen could laugh, he would have. '**Serves Zack right for making those unnecessary comments though**. **But I would be somewhat disturbed if they were doing it**. **Hey didn't I dismiss that thought an hour ago**?'

"So Misato," started Shinji. "What will you do today?"

"I'll take the girls… and him out for a day on the town."

'**I can't believe it**,' thought Pen-Pen. '**God really does exist**! **I get the whole house to myself**!'

Then it was 11:29am. Zack was also back on his feet and counting the seconds. "10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! Showtime!"

Right as Zack said Showtime, the doorbell rang. Everyone's head turned to the door. "I believe you should answer it Shinji," said Rei.

Shinji slowly got up off the couch and went to the door. Everyone quietly followed behind. Shinji then slowly opened the door. As expected, there was a person waiting outside the door. It was his father, Gendo Ikari!

'**HOLY SHIT**! **THAT GUY IS SCARY**!' observed Pen-Pen. '**Now I know why Shinji used to hate the guy**!'

"Hello… Father," said Shinji.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"Yeah. Let's go." And Shinji shut the door behind him and off father and son went.

"There never was a braver man," said Zack.

'**Indeed**. **Wouldn't touch that guy with a 99 ½ foot pole**.'

10 minutes later, Misato dragged the kids out the door to do who knows what. Now he had the apartment to himself. Without further hesitation, he waddled over to the pullout couch and turned on the television set. He decided to watch the movie: March of the Penguins.

After almost 20 minutes, Pen-Pen got bored of the show, and turned on his favourite show.

TV: And now, we bring to you what has been declared the worst show on television: Jerry Springer! (Catchy tune in the background)

Jerry: Hi there. Welcome to today's show. Today we have people who got issues with their lives, and with the person in the chair across from them. Today we have…

And oh yes, Pen-Pen was right into this stuff. Best of all. It was hilarious. People acting like Misato minus being drunk. And it was uncut too. And no matter how crazy thigns would get, the crowd was always right, whether the person in question was dirty, a loser, or something else that was bad.

Pen-Pen thought about what it would be like if the EVA kids and Misato were on Jerry Springer. He could picture Asuka getting mad at Elly for making advances on Shinji. Asuka getting mad at Zack for his inappropriate behaviour. Asuka getting mad at Misato for taking Kaji away from her. Asuka getting mad at Rei for taking all Shinji's attention.

'**Okay, too much negatives for Asuka**,' thought Pen-Pen to himself. So he decided to cut the hot-tempered redhead a break… Misato getting mad at Asuka for sleeping with Shinji in her apartment. Misato getting mad at Ritsuko for stealing away Kaji. That would be hilarious. Misato getting mad at Shinji's father for being a useless piece of shit father.

After watching a whole show of Jerry Springer, the sleep he failed to get that night finally caught up to him.

He heard a door slide open. It was Misato and the others. Looks like they were home. At least he managed to get some sleep in during that time. '**Here we go again**.'

"What a day that was," said Misato. "Mini-putting sure was fun though."

"I can't believe Rei beat us all," replied Asuka.

"It all is simply angles and levels of power," said Rei. "Not much more was necessary."

"I was trying to tell you that Asuka," said Ivana. "Maybe if you had listened, you wouldn't have had the worst score. I really expected more from a college graduate."

"WHAT?"

'**Ouch. That was harsh**.'

"And maybe if you didn't have Shinji-on-the-brain, your play would have been half-decent," uttered Zack. He was just asking for it.

'**Zack**. **Watch it**. **You have no idea how thin the ice is you're standing on**.'

"Maybe if you ask him really nicely, he'll let you bear his child!"

'**Oh shit… he's toast…**'

That was it. Asuka picked up an unopened can of beer and threw it at Zack's head. Zack of course, blocked the can-turned projectile. But Zack did not expect what happened next. Asuka then advanced on him quickly. Before he could react, Asuka brought her foot up between his legs, and hit the spot she intended to kick.

A wet crack could be heard, followed by a yell of pain, then a weight hitting the floor. Asuka had sacked Zack for his annoying comments that he had been making all day. And this was the last straw. There was no pity for Zack. Everyone left the room and waited for Shinji to come home. Except for Pen-Pen as he looked at the fallen Sixth Child who was clutching his groin area in an immense amount of pain.

Pen-Pen had flinched when Asuka had kicked him in the pills. It seemed to be a male thing to flinch whenever your fellow male was hit where no man should be hit. '**Man Asuka**, **that was brutal**.** Even he deserved better than that**.'

The doorbell rang. Rei went to answer the door. Of course it was Shinji, as expected.

'**He survived**! **I will still be able to eat real food**!'

"Welcome home Shinji," greeted Rei. "How was your day with Commander Ikari?"

"It was alright," replied Shinji. He noticed Zack on the ground in an apparently large amount of pain. "What happened to Zack?"

"He was apparently making some inappropriate comments to Asuka and in return she kicked his groin area."

Shinji chuckled. "That would do it."

Shinji then followed Rei into the kitchen where he was greeted by the apartment's other females. They seemed to be glad to see him. Shinji told them all about the day he spent with his father. Nobody paid attention to Zack when he limped into the kitchen, grab some ice and a Ziploc bag to make an ice pack, and then limp back out.

The rest of the evening went as planned. Shinji was in such a bright mood that he cooked again to everyone;s delight. Even Pen-Pen's.

After what was a long day, everyone finally retired for the night. Pen-Pen decided not to stay up with Zack because the Sixth Child had problems of his own. So Pen-Pen retreated to his icebox and settled in for a good night rest.

A/N: And how was that! Whew! I'm bushed out. Almost like I rewrote the chapter but included Pen-Pen's POV. Remember people, get out there and vote. Every vote counts! As long as I get a message of sorts of what you want, it's counted. I'll be back December 10 for the next edtion of the Zany Antics. Be cool!

Epilogue

Pen-Pen heard a noise that awoke him from his slumber. So he opened his icebox to see what it was. And what a sight he saw. It was Zack, waddling into the kitchen like a penguin. He was still in a lot of pain from the collateral sacking he got from Asuka. Pen-Pen watched him change the icepack he had, and returned back to his spot on the couch.

'**Note to self**. **When the redhead is ready to have children**, **the matter of her bearing Shinji's child will become a safe subject of discussion**.'


	3. Zack: Delinquent? Misunderstood? Rebel?

A/N: Okay, this is my second crack at this one. The first crack turned into a fissure that I couldn't fix. So let's try this again! Zack's adventures in Canada! Was he a naughty boy? Find out now!

"So what do you suggest we do now?" asked Zack, who was rather bored. "Sure that movie was fun, but I'm rather bored now that it's over.

"You always get bored easily if you're not constantly entertained," said Ivana. "Didn't you learn anything about discipline while in the police force?"

The whole crew at Misato's apartment, minus Misato at the moment who was probably with Kaji again, and plus Elly because she wanted to come over to see Zack again. They had just finished watching a movie, and now trying to find another way to pass the time. Zack was sitting on the couch with Elly in his lap. Shinji and Asuka occupied the other couch, whilst Rei and Ivana both sat on the floor.

"Well the main things I learned were…" he was now concentrating on all the things he claimed to know. "How to making daring maneuvers in a police chase, how to think like a cop like the time I convinced a cop not to give Misato a ticket, how to determine whether a coffee shop serves good coffee by looking at the place, how to determine if someone is a crack addict simply by looking at them, and how to tell the 'bitches' from the girls."

"Those are not standard police tactics," interjected Rei.

"Yeah, yeah," muttered Zack. "Nitpicky. Anyways, anyone got any stories they'd like to share. Anyone got any odd stories from their childhood they'd like to share?"

Judging from the looks on everyone's faces minus Elly's who appeared to be in thought; it appeared they weren't ready to discuss their past.

"What about you Zack?" asked Elly. "Don't you have something nice to share?" she said cuddling into his chest.

"She's right Zack," put in Shinji. "Don't you have a story or two? You look like the guy who has had tons of adventures under the belt."

Zack appeared to be in thought for a moment. But after a minute he gave his answer. "Not really. Nothing impressive happened in my past other than the RCMP academy and EVA training."

Ivana now came into the conversation. "Really Zack? I heard you were expelled at least four times while in elementary school!" She suddenly left the room to probably get something out of her room.

"Four times!" shot Asuka. "And you call me a bitch! What fucked you up so much to get expelled four times?"

"That is so not true," retorted Zack.

"Really Zack?" said Ivana who just came back into the room with a sheet in her hands. "Do any of these incidents look familiar to you?" she finished handing him the sheet of paper.

Zack took the paper and looked at it. The first look on his face was confusion. But then the memories sunk in as his face went from shock, to horror, and then somewhat to anger. "Hey, now those stories are taken way out of proportion. Yes some of them are true, but the others are exaggerated!"

"Ooh, were you a naughty boy Zack?" asked Elly in a somewhat naughty voice herself.

"I wasn't naughty, I was misunderstood," replied Zack.

"Then why don't you tell us the story yourself if you claim to be misunderstood," said Rei.

"Fine I will," declared Zack. He looked at the sheet with his infractions on it again. "Let's see… this one! Where they allege I was punching kids for trying to steal my snacks."

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Flashback to 10 years ago – Zack in J.K.

"_Hey kid. Give us some of your snacks," one kid of a group of three had approached this one kid who was sitting by himself eating his snacks like he always did._

"_These are mine," declared the lone kid. "It not my fault your mommy and daddy didn't make you any snacks."_

"_Give us some!" the second in the group said._

"_NO!" shot back the lone one._

"_You gotta share!" now the third one came forward to try and take some._

"_NO!" the lone kid yelled. Suddenly, the kid threw a punch to the face of the third member of the group. _

_The third one felt the pain of the punch and began to cry. The second one said. "My parents told me to stand up for people. You hurt him."_

_Now the second kid came forward to try and hit the lone kid. In response, he decided to kick the second kid in the stomach. And now the second kid was on the ground crying. "Take that!" said the lone kid. He then went and tackled the first kid in the group, successfully taking them down. "Daddy told me I need to defend myself. Even if it makes others cry. BABIES!" he bellowed._

"_Zackary Harper!" shouted a teacher. "Look what you did," she told him, pointing to the crying kids who were being tended to by the teacher's assistants. "I'm taking you to the principal's office!"_

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"Sounds like you were being a bully," said Ivana. "You refused to share your snacks and then you beat up three kids."

"Well they were going to take his snacks," retorted Elly. "I believe you Zack."

"You're just saying that so you can snuggle with him," shot back Ivana.

"Relax everyone," called out Zack finally. "You asked for my point of view on the matter and I gave it. Teachers are very good at distorting stories just in case they may make themselves look bad. They couldn't give a rat's ass about educating kids. They just want to get paid."

Asuka then snatched the paper. "How about where you pissed on the teacher's car?"

"Well when you gotta go, you gotta go."

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Flashback to 8 ½ years ago.

"_But Mrs. Crawford, I HAVE TO GO PEE NOW! I CAN'T HOLD IT!" shouted a seven-and-a-half year old Zack Harper who was holding his groin area to keep himself from wetting his pants._

"_Don't worry Zack," replied Mrs. Crawford who appeared to be in her early forties. "When Bobby gets back, you can go next."_

"_I HAVE TO GO NOW!" yelled Zack again. "If I pee my pants, I'm gonna tell my Daddy on you!"_

"_Too bad," shot back the teacher. "You'll just have to wait like everyone else."_

_Zack stormed off knowing he wouldn't be able to make it to the bathroom in time. He then wondered what his Daddy would do. He remembered Daddy saying that when he couldn't make it to the bathroom in time, that the next best place to go would be where no one could see you. _

_Thinking quickly he looked around. He could go on the other side of that wall over there, but sometimes the Grade sixes would use that side of the wall to play wall ball. Or he could try way around the other side, but the Grade eights played whip ball on that wall._

_But, then he saw the perfect place. On that fence behind the cars. He could go pee over there, and have the privacy he needed. So without hesitation he quickly went over to the cars. Once there, he went and stood behind the cars facing the fence. He began to pull down his pants to do his business when…_

"_Zackary Harper! What in God's name are you doing?" asked a male teacher who was wondering what Zack was doing behind the cars._

"_YAAAAAHHH!" Zack turned around in total shock. Unfortunately, he in the middle of the process, so unfortunately and accidentally, he marked his territory on Mrs. Crawford's new car._

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"They said I was acting out of revenge for not being allowed to go to the bathroom. And my father managed to get that male teacher in a lot of trouble for sexual harassment because he caught me in the middle of taking a number one."

"So that was an accident than?" asked Shinji.

"Damn straight it was," replied Zack.

"What about the one where you allegedly flushed a cherry bomb down the toilet?" inquired Rei. "Such an action does not usually happen accidentally."

Zack took a look at the albino with red eyes and blue hair. "Well, the intent in itself was intentional, but the accident portion occurred where I hit the wrong target."

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Flashback 6 years ago

"_Is this really a good idea Zack? What if we get caught?" asked a blonde haired boy. "We could get in big trouble."_

"_Scott," replied Zack. "We have to do this. It'll show Big Bertha not to give us wedgies and think she can get away with it. As boys, and members of the superior sex, we have a reputation to keep. Look, she's coming. Hide!"_

_Zack and Scott hid around the corridor. Then a large red haired girl made herself known to the hallway. She didn't' notice that Zack and Scott were hiding down the next hallway. In complete ignorance to whatever plans the boys had for her, she went into the girl's washroom._

"_Hurry Zack!" said Scott once they snuck into the boy's bathroom._

"_I'm trying! This wrapping won't come off!" retorted Zack as he was wrestling with the plastic wrapping which encased the cherry bomb._

_Meanwhile outside, were the principal and his wife who were walking through the hallway._

"_Oh Howard, it's really amazing what you have done with this school," the woman said. "I'm so proud of you. You've made this school the envy of all the schools across the board."_

"_I couldn't have done it without everyone's support Helen," replied Howard the principal. "Especially yours."_

_Just then a large red haired girl came out of the bathroom the two had stopped outside. "Hi Mr. Ashford. Hi Mrs. Ashford," she said._

"_Hi there little girl," replied Helen. "Excuse me Howard, gotta use the little girl's room," she finished scooting into the bathroom._

_Back in the boy's room…_

"_Okay got it out," said Zack. He looked to Scott. "Got the matches ready?"_

_Scott fished out the matches out of his pocket. "Yeah, here they are. I think we took too long. I think Big Bertha's finished in the bathroom by now."_

"_Yeah right," shot back Zack who struck a match. "Girls take forever in the bathroom." He lit the fuse on the cherry bomb. "It's payback time." And with that he dropped it in the toilet and flushed the explosive down._

"_Let's get out of here," said Scott._

_And with that the two darted out of the bathroom. But as they thought they were in the clear, they heard a voice that stopped them cold. "Where are you boys off to in such a hurry?" It was the school principal._

"_Uh oh," the two boys said simultaneously._

_Suddenly a loud explosion was heard from the bathroom followed by a woman's high pitched scream…_

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"I got expelled when I did that though," said Zack.

"So what happened as a result of the cherry bomb?" Elly inquired.

"Flooded every toilet on the 1st floor," answered Zack.

"Serves you right though," was the comment from Ivana. "Was that the first time you were expelled?"

"Yeah it was," replied Zack. "And my father wasn't too sure whether to laugh his ass off or be angry with me for doing that. He told me he'd get me into another school, but he would be angry should I do that ever again."

Elly now wanted to take a look at sheet. So she broke out of the embrace she had with Zack to look at the paper of Zack's major school infractions. "You set off firecrackers in the teacher's lounge?"

"Oh that was part of a protest. I wanted to show that we as students meant business."

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Grade 5

_The threat of a student walkout was had been looming for about two weeks now. The school staff was divided as to how to deal with all the students. They were indeed young, but they had an excellent Grade 8 as Student Council President who was bent on keeping the promises he made to get elected, even if that meant attempting to bring the staff to its knees._

_Zack was also rallied by the call to action. He was only in Grade 5 and had only turned ten years old four months ago, but he was dedicated to the cause. The motivating words of the Student Council President had touched him inside and out. Zack knew he was going to do what he did in the name of a powerful leader whom even the staff was wary of._

_This was Zack's second act of rebellion since this little uprising began. The first act to show that the Grade 5's meant business was when Zack did the unthinkable by placing a bee hive in the teacher's desk drawer. He was suspended for doing such a thing for four days because the teacher was stung about sixteen times._

_He learned the staff was holding a meeting today. Zack, along with a few other kids decided to do something to disrupt the meeting and show that as long as the teachers held the position they did, the school was far from secure. _

_A/N: Play Mission Impossible Music_

_With some help on the inside by a custodian, Zack, along with three Grade 8's decided that the best way to infiltrate the meeting was through the air ducts. The chairman for the board was there, and so were some other corporate jerks that probably made too much money. Zack had his equipment ready that was supplied by other rebelling students: a rope with a harness, matches, a black ninja costume that he had worn for Halloween, and firecracker that had 100 firecrackers tied together. So when one firecracker went off, the other 99 would as well._

_He continued to crawl through the ducts, being guided by those on the roofs. The ventilation shafts were much more complicated than he thought. To obviously be led in the right direction, one had to have been through here before._

_After ten minutes, he had found his destination: The staff lounge. And just as he thought, many corporate jerks were there. Zack knew what he had to do next. Quietly, and so, so quietly, he removed the vent. Acting quickly, because he knew it wouldn't be long before someone noticed the vent was missing; he struck the match and lit the firecracker. He dropped it down and began his retreat. The last things he heard were:_

"_What the hell?"_

_Take cover!"_

"_Ahhhhhh!"_

_CRACK! BANG! BOOM! KABANG! BLAST! BOMB! FWOOM! KABOOM! HINDEMBURG! TIE FIRE! (x10)_

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"Apparently, some kids ratted me out," sighed Zack, "That was my second time being expelled. But I swear though, when I saw the ones who ratted me out afterwards had bruises and lacerations on their faces. I think somebody beat that information out of them. My guess is that's why nobody was criminally charged in the incident."

Elly was laughing loudly though. "Now that's one way to stick it to them! Did you get expelled when you detonated the giant Santa Claus in Grade 6 as well?"

"Oh yes!" laughed Zack as well, although everyone else except Rei and Elly were frowning. "The best shot I have ever taken at political correctness!"

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Christmas Concert Grade 6

_The concert was finally over. The school had almost completed its first ever outside Christmas concert. All eight grades had performed some silly skit that was related to Christmas. And now the principal was giving a brief speech to thank all the students for their excellent performances, and the parents for coming out to watch the performances. However, the main thing on the principal's mind was getting this over with ASAP, as there were rumours going about that somebody had something planned tonight, and that it had to do with explosives. He was very worried about the large Santa Claus snow sculpture that was mounted above and behind the stage._

"_And so I wish you all a Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year," the principal finished speaking into the microphone._

"_Hold on!" came a voice that also had a microphone._

_Everybody looked to where the voice came from. There was a boy standing on top of the outdoor stage way up high. The principal needed only one glance at who it was to be alarmed. Eleven-year-old Zack Harper._

"_Principal Pratt," started Zack, "Your attempts to make political correctness out of Christmas is absolutely atrocious and it causes outrage among those who believe in the true meaning of Christmas!" he said captivating the entire audience in shock._

"_Zackary Harper!" shouted the principal, "Get down here this instant!"_

"_You need to lose your Satan-ass-kissing-attitude there buster!" yelled Zack right back, "Myself and a few dedicated others are determined to disrupt your attempt to ruin Christmas! This day belongs to Jesus Christ! Not you or some guy with the nanogram for Satan! Take this!" he finished, raising both his hands outwards, and pressing a button into a remote in his hand.  
_

_As a result, the large Santa sculpture exploded, and crumbled into the ground with everyone screaming at the sight. Then a cross, shaped like the one Jesus of Nazareth was crucified on, was erected up behind the stage in its place. "Merry Christmas everyone! We have taken this day back in the name of Jesus Christ! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"_

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"You are such a moron," said Ivana with much scorn on her face, "If you were one year older, you have gone to juvenile jail you idiot."

"Now I resent that remark," shot back Zack. "If Pope Benedict XVII ever heard that I did that, I would have been canonized as a saint. Imagine, me being Saint Zackary!"

"Dare to dream Casanova," muttered Asuka.

"The principle thought I was declaring jihad or something on the school and said I was a bad influence on everyone around me for my religious ideals. So he expelled me," said Zack.

"What about the Jackass video you were making?" inquired Shinji.

Zack's typical grin came back. "Well people knew I was rich so…"

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Grade 7 – Last month of the year too

_The group of kids at the top of the hill were confused with whatever Zack was planning. One of them came up to Zack. Zack was tall for his age, but this guy was even taller. "Hey Harper, you said if we played your game, you would give the winner a thousand dollars. You better not being playing us for saps."_

"_Hey relax, said a twelve-year-old Zack, "I have the money right here." He takes out three wads of bills, each worth a thousand dollars. He pointed to the two shopping carts. "The object of this game is to be the first group to get down the hill first and cross that line I made there at the bottom. Two of you will ride in the carts, and the third guy will push the carts. The girl down there at the bottom will raise her hands up, then down. When they go down, that's the signal to go. You guys get me?"_

"_Yeah we do!"_

"_Alright! We're gonna win!"_

_And so they had gotten set. Zack had also gotten out his video camera. What he wasn't telling the guys though, was that he planned to send this video to America's Funniest Home Videos. He could make fools out of them, and with the three thousand dollar investment and the ten thousand dollar prize, there was potential he could make a seven thousand dollar profit from this._

_The six boys took their positions. The girl at the bottom raised her hands up, then down. At that moment, the two pusher boys began to push the carts down the hill. Down the two carts went at incredible speed. Zack tried his best not to laugh at their stupidity. However, things went bad pretty fast. One cart suddenly made a sharp turn right, and rolled onto its side, sliding for about five seconds before coming to a stop. The other cart kept going, but crashed into a road sign, ejecting the cart's occupants onto the road. And Zack had caught the whole thing on film. There and then he named the film "Boys Will be Boys". However, the principal happened to be driving by when this race occurred and saw Zack with the camera._

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"He only took one look and I was expelled," said Zack, "And we had to make cash settlements with the other families of about $100,000 each for each boy injured."

"Did you enter that video in America's Funniest Home Videos?" asked Rei.

"Yes I did," answered Zack with a big smile," not only did I win the $10,000 award, I then won the $100,000 award and the ultimate prize of $500,000 dollars, thus making a $210,000 profit!"

"How pathetic," retorted Ivana. "Profiting from other people's misery."

"Hey I didn't force them to do it," said Zack raising his hands in defence.

"Yeah Ivana," put in Elly, "Like he said: Boys will be boys. And he took advantage of their stupidity and profited from it," she finished snuggling in Zack's embrace once more.

Just then, the door opened. It was Kaji, bringing in a drunken Misato. Misato unfortunately had thrown up all over her shirt, evidence as to how much she was drinking that night. "Hi guys," said Kaji as he came in. "Just here to drop off Her Drunken Majesty and I'll be on my way."

Everyone just frowned at the thought of Misato once again drinking until she threw up. "How old is she," muttered Ivana.

"Adult on the outside, crazy partying teenager on the inside," answered Zack.

"That sounds about right," said Kaji. "I won't interrupt your fun, so I'll be on my way now," he concluded letting himself out the door with a salute to everyone.

Once Kaji left, the kids were alone in the room again. Zack looked at Elly. "So Elly, why don't you tell us about your little joyride with a tank!"

A/N: OMG! I was laughing like a sugar high child while I was writing this. I hope you have as much fun reading this as I did writing this. Until the next Zany Antic, be cool!


	4. It's called Advil Asuka, not Avlimil!

A/N: Alright! Here we are again! The fourth edition of the Zany Antics is here! This may be a little more OOC, but as always, I try my best for the opposite and at the same time, make you laugh. So what happens when Asuka takes the wrong pills?

It seemed to be a wonderful day in Misato's mind. She didn't have a hangover this morning. Zack and Ivana were not fighting over who was the better fighter or idiot. Shinji had cooked a wonderful breakfast as always, and Rei was soon going to be on her way to making a full recovery from Angel Rejection Syndrome, and Asuka…

"Hey, where's Asuka?" the guardian asked suddenly motioning to Shinji. "Isn't she awake yet?"

"I don't know," replied Shinji. "I tried to get her up, but she didn't want to get out of bed. I had to slide out from under her this morning."

"Because she wanted all of you?" interjected Zack, who was already starting the string of tension. "I'm surprised she let you leave the room, knowing how madly she loves you. Who knows what may happen without her watchful eyes and arms."

"Zack, don't start. At least not now," muttered Ivana.

"Fine," grumbled Zack, "I'll start in a few minutes then."

We now go back to Asuka's room. Where the redhead is beginning to awaken from her holy slumber due to an unknown discomfort. Once her eyes completely opened, she noticed Shinji wasn't there. Maybe he was taking her warmth for granted and everything she did for him. Slowly, she brought herself to fours. As she was about to stand up, she felt as if someone was standing on her head.

"Oh fuck… my head," she mumbled as she battled with herself to stand on two feet. No headache could stand up to Asuka though, as the girl slowly made her way to the door.

"Look, it's the Queen of Evil and she's here to get her slave," declared Zack as he saw Asuka emerge from her room.

"Shut up," moaned Asuka as she clutched her head, "Misato where's the Advil?"

"Oh it's in the bathroom," replied Misato. She then stood up, "Well I'm heading off to NERV, and then I'm going elsewhere. Zack and Ivana, if you two want rides, I suggest you're ready right now."

"Done," the Canadian and Russian said in unison.

"Good. Let's go. Don't forget to clean up Shinji. And take very good care of Asuka, you hear me?" With that, Misato, Zack and Ivana had left, while Shinji began to clean up and felt slightly embarrassed.

Now we go back to Asuka. She had managed to find her way into the bathroom. Her headache wasn't feeling any better. In fact it had gotten worse. So bad that it was starting to blur her vision.

'Advil, Advil, fuck which one of these is Advil?' she mentally said to herself. Through the blurred vision, she managed to see it. 'YES!' the voice in her mind screamed. She grabbed the box and ripped out two of the pills. In her excitement she filled up a cup by the sink with water from the tap, and quickly downed the pills.

She still felt the headache somewhat, but the fact that she got the remedy for it was starting to dull the pain somewhat. The fact that it was 'all in her head' was feeling very literal at the moment. In her excited state, she forgot to put the box back in the cupboard and went out to see what the baka/lover was doing. Apparently, he was cleaning up after everyone who had just eaten breakfast.

She suddenly had this urge to go up to him and hug him and kiss him like some crazy fan girl, but alas she still had a headache. So one would have to settle for seductive tones instead. "Good morning Shinji," she said in the selected tone.

"Morning Asuka," replied Shinji a little shakily. He wasn't used to this tone at all, "Are you feeling okay."

"I'm feeling much better thank you." Asuka sat down at the table where her breakfast awaited her, "But I'd feel even better if you sat down with me."

'What's up with Asuka this morning?' wondered Shinji as he reluctantly sat down in a chair next to Asuka. 'She never acts like this, even when she's in a good mood.'

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Geofront

"Ah, if there's one thing better than watering melons, it's being between Misato's melons," said Kaji. The badly shaven self-declared he-man was busy doing his favourite pastime. And that was watering the melons in his melon patch. And they were coming along nicely.

He checked his watch. "Hmm, Misato should be here shortly. And she dares say she can't stand me. Perhaps she should ask herself why she's coming to me to get some of what she likes better than beer. She has two likely willing guys in her apartment within arms reach, and yet she chooses me!" he laughed aloud to himself.

"Oh you are so full of yourself as always," called out a voice behind him.

"Am I?" asked Kaji turning around to see Misato standing there with her hands on her hips. Kaji laughed and scratched the back of his head, "Well to each their own opinion." He motioned towards his small house, "Come on in. I've got some freshly squeezed melon juice that you just gotta try."

"If that shuts you up, then I'm all for it," said Misato walking with Kaji into the house. And yes she decided to try some of his melon juice. She is somewhat mature for those who think she just goes to see Kaji for the SOLE reason of rocking the boat.

"Oh by the way Misato," began Kaji while he was in the bathroom, "where's that stuff you use? Was it Ad… or no Avil… err what was it again?"

"Avlimil Kaji. It's called Avlimil And I left it at home. Right next to the Advil. You wanted this so bad that you got me rushing out the door. So this will only be half as fun for you." After finishing off the juice, she hit the man who just emerged from the bathroom with a hard kiss.

Let's leave them alone. We're not like those intrusive lemon/lime fics.

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Misato's Flat

Pen-Pen emerged from his small icebox. Being much smarter than the average penguin, he decided that it was time for a bath. And so he waddles his way into the bathroom. He hadn't seen it, but he had heard Asuka acting rather strangely this morning. Asuka had the tendency to be nice, but not like that.

Coming to terms with the fact that the unpredictable redhead was Shinji's problem and that he had better find a way out if he knew what was best for him, Pen-Pen began to pour the water into the tub. However, he noticed there was a box on the floor next to the toilet. So out of curiosity he goes to check it out. The box reads: _Avlimil, specially formulated to enhance a woman's sexual experience through proper proportions, Avlimil's formula works to enhance libido, sexual feeling, and sexual response._

Pen-Pen then immediately remembered something he overheard this morning. Something about Asuka complaining about a headache. She must have taken Avlimil instead of Advil! If the penguin remembered correctly, these are the pills Misato sometimes takes when she's with Kaji. And if Asuka had taken these pills by accident, who knows what may happen to Shinji.

'**Poor Master. I don't think he'll see it coming**.'

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Streets of Tokyo-3

Shinji wasn't too sure what to think. Asuka sure was acting strange indeed. He wasn't sure whether to be happy from being half glomped by his girlfriend, or be worried that something was wrong with her.

Reassessing what had happened over the last thirty to forty-five minutes, Shinji had determined something wasn't at all right with Asuka. Sure her making out with him for a few minutes in the house may at times be considered a tad abnormal, but all the seductive and suggestive words, to the absolute grip she had over his right arm, to sitting on his lap on the bus. Yes, something wasn't right at all.

At Asuka's suggestion, they went to the water park by bus in Tokyo-2. Of course this was once again at Shinji's expense. This really was going to be a hamper on his bank account, but a part of him liked the fact that he could make Asuka happy.

"What's wrong Shinji?" asked Asuka in that tone again. This snapped him out of his train of thought, "Don't be scared lover boy. I won't bite, at least not hard anyway." She kissed his cheek and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I heard this water park is awesome. I can't wait till we get there."

"I guess so."

The water park was indeed amazing once they arrived after an hour on that bus. Once they changed into their swimsuits, they went straight for the slides.

"Yippee! I'm so excited!" cheered Asuka. "Let's do the double tube slide."

"Alright, if you say so," muttered Shinji. Something was definitely wrong, and he didn't like it. Hopefully all this playing would eventually wear her right out. And she'd go back to being the somewhat bitchy, and complaining Asuka he knew and loved.

The tunnel itself was quite fun. You would slide around completely in the dark, not knowing which way you would suddenly turn next. After about twenty seconds of high-speed tubing, they eventually reached the light and a big splash at the bottom.

"Let's do that again," said Asuka. "Let's do the really fast one this time!"

Shinji decided that perhaps trying to tone Asuka down and spoil her good mood may not be the best idea. This may be a blessing, "Alright, let's go again!" he replied looking at her. Then it hit him. With the sun reflecting of her soaked body and her two-piece bathing suit, it brought out the best in Asuka's looks. In Shinji's mind no Black Angel or anyone or anything for that matter could stand up to the power of Asuka's dynamite body.

Regaining his composure, he replied back, "All right! Let's go!"

Now we shift ahead to the two sunbathing on some beach towels. If you want to see/imagine Asuka in all her sexy glory multiple times, read the above paragraph past the line where Shinji speaks over and over again. It's another hot day in October and the heat just won't die down. As such our two pilots want to take advantage of this before Mother Nature takes her nasty turn.

"Ah isn't this day wonderful Shinjikins?" asked Asuka with a sigh in her voice.

"I guess so. It isn't everyday we get out like this." Shinji felt secretly relieved that whatever was up with Asuka seemed to be wearing off. "You want to go get a treat after this or something?"

"I don't need to go get a treat," replied Asuka.

"W-why's that?"

To Shinji's surprise, she rolled on top of him, "I already have my treat," she said with her seductive tone before covering his mouth with her hungry lips. "And he tastes mighty good too."

"I g-g-guess that's a good thing," said a slightly scared Shinji, worried that whatever was making Asuka act so strangely not go away.

"As good as you are, I only get a taste from each kiss. I want the whole thing." She got off him to undo the top half of her bikini.

"Asuka, what are you doing?" inquired Shinji. Was she going to take him right here and now? His face went from peach coloured, to pale, and now red.

"What's wrong? Are you embarrassed because there are people around?" teased Asuka. "You embarrassed that they'll see us showing the love we have for each other?"

"I-I-it's not that!" said Shinji, struggling for a good explanation. He was a master at bailing out of a bad situation, and he managed to bail out here, "I'm not embarrassed! I'd do it right here and now, it's that… others may be offended!"

She sighed and dropped back on top of him, "All right Mr. Sensitive, you win." She sighed as she laid against him, her breasts digging into his chest, "Ah your skin feels nice."

"F-feelings mutual," said Shinji. Well obviously it's mutual, more so especially if you have a beautiful topless girl lying on your bare chest!

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Nearly two hours later, NERV HQ

"Damn! We're missing a really nice and soppy romance movie," moaned Asuka as she ventured into NERV with Shinji. "Damn her deciding to have the locks changed today."

"Well it's procedure," replied Shinji, hoping that this libido Asuka was now wearing off this time.

"Maybe if we hurry and find Misato, we can catch it on another station, giving us all the motivation we need," she smirked. Nope, it hadn't worn off yet. "And maybe, we can get a little… naughty. This time where no one can see us and be 'offended'."

"I see."

As they walked deeper into NERV, the pills that Asuka had unintentionally took was making Asuka's mind go absolutely crazy. Sure she wondered perhaps a few times what the boy would be like in bed should they ever dare to do the deed. And she would assume that it wouldn't happen between them for at least a few more years.

But right now, the fact that she wanted to do Shinji right now, and just about anywhere, was wrestling with her sanity for top spot in Asuka's mind. But the hormone wrestler in her mind had just pulled a devastating finishing move on the sanity wrestler and pinned it down. In that moment, she just had to have him. She had been resisting it all day, but now she could wait no longer. Seeing a janitor's closest she dragged Shinji into it, shutting the door and turning on the light.

"Asuka, what are you…"

The redhead didn't let the boy finish his question, as she drowned him in a very hot kiss. She broke the kiss off looking very hungry, "Kiss me you sexy beast."

Not in a position to refuse, Shinji decided it was time to fight back. Fight fire with fire. He kissed her right back with all the ferocity he had in the dimly lit room. And oh boy did that set Asuka off. It was pleasing her raging hormones and she was dead set on pleasing them all the way through.

To Shinji's surprise, Asuka's skirt had found its way to the floor and she was working on unbuckling his pants, not to mention her blouse had all the buttons undone revealing her cleavage very well.

"Asuka?"

"Shh. I want you Shinji. I can't resist you anymore. Right here. Right now," she whispered in his ear.

Meanwhile through the halls of NERV, the most powerful man within thousands of miles walked its corridors. Not much else to do at the moment, he decided to look around to make sure everything was as it should be.

However, something caught Gendo Ikari's ear. Some dull moaning sound. Determined to find out where it was coming from, he walked towards it. He quickly noticed it was coming from the janitor's closet. From the sounds alone, he assumed some employees were making out in there or perhaps having sex. They knew the rules about intimacy in NERV HQ and especially while on the job and they were about to get a lecture.

He yanked the door open to reveal… Shinji and Asuka? From what he saw, Asuka had him pinned against a wall about to remove his shirt. All he had left on was the shirt and his boxer shorts. The girl herself had only her panties, her unbuttoned blouse, and her bra.

Time just seemed to stand still, as they had noticed him once he opened the door, their faces getting redder by the minute. Shinji and Asuka both figured they were in serious trouble now from the commander.

After a few seconds, he muttered, "Leave." That was mercy to their ears.

The Second and Third Children quickly dressed themselves and darted away quickly not daring to look back.

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Later that night

Asuka rose out of bed to go to the bathroom. As she was about to leave, she noticed a box on the floor. 'Ah it's the Advil box,' she said to herself. Picking it up, she made a dreadful discovery. It wasn't Advil at all she had taken that morning. This was Avlimil! 'Holy schiesse, this isn't Advil! This stuff makes you horny!' That had to explain it, why she felt like she wanted to make love to Shinji. These stupid pills. But then again, even though he was scared he still made quite the lover.

'Maybe again, for another time,' she snickered to herself pocketing two more pills.

A/N: YES! IT'S BACK! THE ZANY ANTICS LIVE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! R&R people. Until the next Antic, be cool!

I also note that the FDA does not certify Avlimil, so I can't guarantee its results. Try it if you dare. Misato sure likes it, and it sent Asuka for a loop. So it can't be all that bad.


	5. Elly the Hijacker?

A/N: All right! I got my laptop once more! Now I'll be able to work on these almost anytime! So let's bring on the next Antic! Alright Elly! No more hiding! Out with it!

NERV HQ – Elly's room (Think Pink)

We go to where we see a room, which is decorated almost completely in the colour pink. A boy and a girl sit on the bed enjoying the warmth the other had to share. As you may have guessed by now, it's Zack and Elly, our favourite OC couple.

"Aww don't worry about it Zackie," Elly said. "I was going to tell the blokes eventually."

"You were?" replied a shocked Zack. "But you said it was our secret."

"Yes. AFTER we were in the clear of any bitching from Misato," answered Elly. "Like say when we get married."

"We're getting married? Did I propose in my sleep again?" said Zack jokingly. "I gotta stop doing that."

"No worries, you didn't." Elly got up off the bed to go to her refrigerator. "Want a coke?" she asked as she looked through fridge's contents.

"Sure. Toss me one." In a flash Zack catches a can that would have flown right past his face. As he opens the can up, it squirts right in his face. "Ack!" he screamed.

"Don't you know not to open a can after it's been tossed or shaken?" asked Elly in a parent's tone. "Coke is so acidic, that you'd burn your eyes out if you got too much of it in them. She passes him a towel. "Here you go."

"Thanks," replies Zack sheepishly as he wipes his face. "You sound like the mother I never knew. Despite your choice of clothing, flirtation techniques, and your lack of political correctness, I think you'd make a great mother Elly."

"Aww, that's so sweet. I'd love to be a mommy someday," she said as she sat down beside him snuggling herself into his embrace. "Maybe you can make me a mommy…" she sighed dreamily.

"Uh, let's hold off on that. Misato found out we did it with protection and she raised the roof on me. Like I said, can we wait at least seven years before that subject makes its way back to the table?"

"Fine," sighed Elly with mock disappointment. "I was hoping I'd get a nice beautiful baby that I could dye her hair strawberry blonde like mine."

"Speaking of which," Zack wondered, "what is your real hair colour? I know your hair is dyed."

"Before I went in the pink, I used to be a blonde," answered Elly. "I died my hair after the tank episode."

"Yeah, you never told anyone about that. And you dodged the issue when we were all at Misato's flat." Zack looked into her eyes, "What there to be so embarrassed about?"

"I had no problem telling the story mate," replied Elly. "I just didn't want Asuka bitching the whole time and acting like she had permanent PMS. I bet she's just jealous because I've had more action in my life than she does."

"Then why don't you tell me the story," said Zack. "I promise you I won't get PMS."

"That's because you can't get PMS you goof!" Elly laughed. "Okay, I'll tell you the story. But only because you won't get PMS."

We go back in time. Back to when Elly was a blonde! Gasps - Sydney, Australia

"Okay Foster Daddy, I'll be back soon!" called thirteen-year-old Elly into her house as she was on her way out the door. She had been looking forward to this weekend. Well, teenage girls look forward to every weekend. She had her blonde hair let down freely, and wore her favourite set of pink clothes.

"Alright. This is going to be a blast Elly!" her more Asian looking friend said to her from outside the door.

"Let's go Brianna! To the Colossal Coral Reef!" shouted Elly to her best friend.

As the two best friends paced along, Brianna had a question for Elly. "Say Elly is it alright for you to wear that kind of clothing. As hot as your clothes look, aren't you worried about being targeted by some pervert?"

"I ain't worried mate," replied Elly, as she looked down at her fairly well developed body which was covered by a pink tube top with pink mini shorts, and pink flip flops, topped off with pink lipstick. "Daddy used to be in the army. And he taught me how to defend myself. Remember how I kicked the hell out of Will the other day?"

"Z-oh my god, I remember that," said Brianna. Her choice of clothing was more conservative since she wasn't as wild as Elly was. She wore loosely worn jeans and a yellow t-shirt. "Will was bawling his eyes out. Big baby. That fat ass spent the rest of the day waddling like a penguin."

"More like a warm-water penguin!" Elly laughed out loud.

They finally reached their favourite destination: the Colossal Coral Reef. It was a large ice cream restaurant that acted like any other restaurant did complete with waiters/waitresses and all.

Elly and Bri took their seats and waited for a waiter to come along. Once a waiter came along and got their ice cream orders. As they waited, they decided to bring up a subject from school.

"Say Bri, what'd you think of Mrs. Carmichael's idea of great poetry?" asked Elly. "If you ask me that was the worst thing I had ever heard since."

"Oh my gosh, that wasn't garbage that was pure shit!" said Bri. "Like what good is salt anyways? That was just… oh my god, fucking garbage. Like salt kills trees and plants, fish, and environment spray to stop the salt."

"And don't forget salt kills tires," put in Elly. "It's a tool of the devil I tell you."

"And don't forget this," Bri rolls up her left pant leg to reveal a large scab on her knee. "Who says salt is good for wounds? Huh?"

Elly pretended to go into thought, "Let's see. Uh, Sally, Carl, Jess, Brittney, and oh yes, Mrs. Carmichael!"

"They are so fucking stupid," said Bri. "Salt on a wound hurts like bloody hell!"

"Yeah I know." Elly turned her head to see their waiter coming with their ice cream. "Oh look here's our ice cream."

The waiter arrived at their table. "Ah here are two ice creams for two pretty girls. Butterscotch for the girl in yellow, and pink bubblegum for the girl in pink." He handed the two their ice creams and went off to serve other customers.

"Ah leave it to ice cream to hit the spot," sighed Elly as she licked her way through the pink ice cream.

"You seem to love pink," replied Brianna. "Everything except your eyes and your hair is pink."

"I can have that fixed if you like," said Elly. "I know where I can get the stuff to dye my hair strawberry blonde. And I can get fake contact lenses to change the colour of my eye pupils. Do ya dare me to it mate?"

"Go for it," challenged Bri. "I would love to see the look on Mr. Ralph's face when you walk in with pink hair. He'd have a heart attack and perhaps an ulcer. Z-Oh my god and old' Mrs. Shale would get the shock of a lifetime! You have to do it! You have to!"

"You're on!" declared Elly. "Waiter, check please," the blonde called out to a waiter passing by.

Minutes later the two girls were pacing down the street towards the drug store where Elly could go buy her hair dye and contacts. The current topic of their conversation was one of their favourite subjects, their favourite band The Lucky 7's.

"They are just so to die for," sighed Bri. "Especially James. Oh I wish I could glomp him and marry him."

"Whoa, that's a bit over the top," countered Elly. "I think Bob is the dreamiest one out of the four."

"No way, James is better!" shot back Bri.

"Wanna bet," challenged Elly. "Bob pwns James any day!"

"Okay this is getting stupid," conceded Bri. "We're fighting over two band members who are probably worth nothing on paper."

"I agree," said Elly. "Besides I don't think my future boyfriend would look that that anyway."

"Really?" wondered Bri. She put her hands on her hips and stood in front of Elly. "So who is this dream boy of yours?"

"Uh let's see." Elly put a hand on the side of her head and thought for a bit. "I don't know who he is, but I bet whoever he is," her face turns dreamy, "he comes from a faraway place, like a knight coming to rescue a princess from an evil king."

"Okay, back to reality. If I know you, you'll just end up going out with Will."

"If I were to go out with Will, my only reason for going out with him would be for another opportunity to kick him in the groin," chuckled Elly. "Why don't you go out with Will?"

"No way. I swear he still drools!" laughed Bri.

This got them both laughing until they froze at the sight they saw. Right in front of the two chatty girls, was a small military installation, with one guard at the post. Past the guard, they could see some large military vehicles and the rest of the base.

"This is where your dad used to work right Elly?" Bri inquired.

"Yea," replied Elly. "He did a lot of work on the vehicles. He even let me sit in the tank when I was just a kid."

"This place isn't that big," Bri pondered, "but I wouldn't mind going inside."

"I remember when I was inside. Daddy showed me around the entire base once. And since he was a sergeant, he gave me power to boss around his cadets. I made them all run around the barracks in their underwear!"

"Eww. That's gross!" Bri was holding her mouth. "But it sure would have been funny."

However, in the few minutes they spent out there talking, an event occurred. Not just some event that happened in the average thirteen-year-old's life. But it was an event that would set the wheels of Elly's destiny in motion. Luckily, Bri saw someone creeping up behind Elly. "Elly look out!" she screamed.

Elly twisted her head to her right and managed to see someone behind her. "Ahhh!" was her cry before her goat kick found the man's groin.

"Ahhh!" the man screamed as his weak spot was hit. As he doubled over, he never got to see Elly's right elbow find his nose. It was the soldier who had crept up behind her.

"Run!" the blonde yelled. "Let's get help!"

Bri didn't find it in her voice to argue. Some pervert had been robbed of a chance to violate her best friend and it wouldn't take him long to recover from a kick and elbow from a teenage girl. Not really thinking, both girls ran inside the compound, hoping to get some sort of help.

Not really knowing where to go, they ran and hid amongst the tanks that were stored near the entrance. They could hear the soldier nearby.

"Fuck where are those little bitches?" he grumbled. "Once I find them, I'll rape that whore till she splits in two!"

"What are we going to do Elly?" whispered Bri. "He's gonna find us. And we're not supposed to be in here."

"Shh, I got an idea," said Elly. "An idea he won't see coming."

The man heard whispers. Someone was talking on the other side of that tank closest to the entrance! Looks like they didn't know this area at all or maybe they were trying to hide from him. He walked up to that tank in particular. It was a medium sized tank, with decent firepower. The soldier swore he heard someone breathing. This made him more excited, as he knew was going to get some entertainment, and these two little bitches were the entertainment.

He crept around the side of the tank, until he knew he had them caught. As he whipped around, he shouted "Ah… ha…" To his surprise, there was no one there. Was he imagining things? He couldn't have. And there was nowhere else they could have run without anyone seeing them.

"I don't think he'll find us in here," whispered Elly.

"It's cramped in here," whispered Bri back. "Now how are we going to get out? He'll find us once we do? And it's pretty dark in here too."

"Uhh, I was guessing that he wouldn't think we'd hide in here. It's convenient the lid to this tank was unlocked," continued Elly. "Now we wait for him to leave, and then we sneak out and run like bloody hell out of this compound, and go get my hair dye."

Meanwhile, the soldier was frustrated. Where did those kids go? It had been too long now. Even if he couldn't get the time to have his way with them, the fact that they had slipped past his watch could warrant a week in 'the pit'.

"PRIVATE!" a voice boomed not too far away. "Why aren't you at your post?"

The soldier turned around to face the voice. It was the sergeant. "I can explain sir," replied the soldier. "I heard some voices around the tanks sir and it seemed suspicious."

"Really?" asked the officer mockingly. "What could be so suspicious THAT IT LEFT OUR ENTRANCE UN-FUCKING-DEFENDED? And by the way, what the hell happened to your nose?"

"I hit my nose on a shelf in the kiosk sir," lied the private.

"I see. Well at least it looks better than the piece of shit job you were doing guarding the post. So tell me, what ungodly force MADE YOU LEAVE YOUR GODDAMN POST!"

The soldier struggled to come up with an explanation, "I uh… heard some voices. Voices I didn't recognize. They were coming from over here."

"AND THESE VOICES MADE YOU ABANDON YOUR GOD-GIVEN DUTY TO DEFEND THE POST?" Just then, an odd smell caught his nose. "Hey, what the fuck is that smell?" He sniffed the air some more until he identified the scent. "That smells like strawberries." The sergeant glared at the private, "Don't tell me you're gay." The guard flinched in response.

Just then, he located the source of the scent. It was coming from the windows of the tank where the driver could see what was potentially in front of him. "Great, a couple of fruitcakes on my base!" The already angry man walked up to the tank and pounded on the side of it. "Alright you faggots, get the hell out here now!"

From inside, the sound and the banging startled both girls, who were already frightened as they currently were. Like in most animes, both girls freaked out and fell over.

To hear what sounded like high pitched voices to the major made him even more confused. He pulled out a gun now. "All right you squeaky bitches, come out with your hands up!"

"Oh no, he's got help," said Elly from her sprawled position inside the tank.

"I'm scared Elly. I don't want them to hurt us," replied her equally sprawled friend. Little did she know that as she was getting back to her feet, she was accidentally pressing all the right buttons, initiating its sequence.

"Look let's get out and if there's a problem, we'll scream," Elly decided.

"Oh fine." Suddenly, her feet slipped and she felt herself kick something, then they heard what felt like a loud roar of an engine. "Uh… oh."

"What the hell did you just do?" yelled Elly over the roar of the engine.

Outside, the two men were startled by the sound of the tank starting up. "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!" yelled the sergeant.

"How do you shut this thing off?" asked a frantic Bri. Frantically, she pulled one of the levers. In response, the heavy vehicle lurched forward.

"You dip, that's the throttle!" Elly shoved Bri out of the seat.

Bri now peeked out the window, "Elly we're gonna run into that booth! Do something!"

Outside, the sergeant and private had both run for cover. The tank was apparently rolling towards the kiosk, but at the last second, it swerved to its right and now it rolled onto the open road down the street.

The officer ran into the booth and called his superior, "Colonel, we got a situation. Some motherfucker hijacked one of the tanks and is taking off with it! I'm requesting an air strike!" He listened in. "You're letting the cops handle this? Are you nuts?" He listened in a little more as humility set in, "Yes sir. Sorry sir."

Elly looked at the controls, searching for a way to stop the tank. This one incident with a perverted soldier had now gotten way out of hand. "I think I found it Bri!"

"Good," replied Bri from her view of outside. "Pull it and let's stop this thing."

Elly tried to pull the switch, but to her horror, it was jammed. "Oh my god, it's jammed! I can't stop it!"

"Oh no, and we're heading towards the downtown area!" yelled Bri.

"Shit."

Downtown Sydney – Their day is about to be turned upside down

The lives of the people of downtown Sydney, Australia were peaceful at best. They had done an excellent job of psychologically, and economically bouncing back from the calamity that was 2nd Impact over a decade ago. People went about their everyday lives, doing a great job of putting the past behind them. It was like any other city, be it Toronto, New York, London, Berlin, or even Hong Kong.

However, nothing in the world or beyond could have prepared the citizens of Sydney from what was about to happen. Good thing a few people saw it before it was too late. But apparently, some nutcase was driving an army tank right into the downtown sector. Luckily some people saw it, and others heard it, as the tank roared into the area with many police squad cars following closely behind it.

Many people fled for cover, abandoning whatever they were doing as the tank razed through the area, pulverizing anything in its path. The police had difficulty keeping up with this machine as they had to maneuver around the debris the erratic tank driver left in its wake. Little did they know who the drivers really were: two frightened girls.

"Move! Get out of the way!" Bri screamed at the terrified citizens out the window. "Elly, I can hear police sirens behind us."

"No duh, they're after us," retorted Elly who continued to try to stop the tank to no avail. " And I bet we'll make the 6 o'clock news as well. I've almost got the hang of driving. Just tell me where to go so we don't kill anyone."

"Okay. But try to stop this thing before we do kill someone!" Bri peered out and took a look at what was up ahead. They had quickly exited the downtown area, leaving behind quite a bit of destruction in their wake, which included some flattened cars and some downed traffic lights. There were a bunch of cars in a lineup, and there were a few police deputies directing traffic. It didn't take the girl long to figure out that it was one of those funeral drives that they have. "HOLY SHIT ELLY! WE'RE GONNA CRASH!"

Luckily the people directing traffic up ahead heard the tank coming and quickly diverted traffic out of the way of the roaring machine of destruction. The only thing that was destroyed there was the deputy's car.

"Oh my god, that was too close," shouted Bri. "Say how much gas is in this thing? Can we run this thing out of gas?"

"Well according to what I see mate," replied Elly, "we got a full tank."

"Turn right, oncoming car!" Bri suddenly screeched.

Elly tried as best she could to turn the tank in the required direction. The tank lazily responded but apparently they didn't feel like they hit anything, so they were alright for the moment…

"Left!"

"Left?"

"No! Right! Right! WATCH OUT!"

"WHAT?"

Suddenly, something struck the tank with the ensuing inertia forcing them both forward.

The police saw the tank make some dangerous moves to avoid hitting some unexpecting cars, but now the tank had struck the median which separated the two sides of the road into the oncoming tunnel. Luckily for anyone that the tank had been brought to a complete stop. Now the officers had their guns drawn and approached the tank very slowly. Another officer had a megaphone on him and spoke into it.

"This is the Sydney Police. We have you surrounded. Come out now with your hands where we can see them. If we see a weapon in your hand, we will shoot."

As planned, the lid of the tank opened. And at the sight they saw, the cops almost dropped their guns, as two teenage girls climbed out of the tank.

"Captain, what was in that soup you made for lunch?" one officer asked out of curiosity.

Sydney Police Station

"So let me get this straight," a fat police officer asked Elly who sat opposite to him. "You're telling me that this man, Private Reevers attempted to harm you, and you defended yourself?"

"Yes. We were afraid he would hurt us and he had a gun on him. Hiding in the tank was the first place to hide because he'd never look in there," replied a trembling Elly.

There were two police officers in the room, along with Elly, Bri, their parents, and a lawyer that would be representing them.

"So why did you activate the tank and try to run him over?" asked the thin officer. "Do you have any idea how much damage your little stunt caused?"

"It was an accident," bellowed Bri. "We were going to come out when the man started yelling, but we must have accidentally started the thing up. We were scared!"

The lawyer interjected, "Do you have any idea how terrified these two girls were? So terrified that they decided to hide in a tank to protect themselves from a sexual predator. And I'm if I'm not mistaken, Private Reevers has been implicated in crimes involving many other little girls."

"That still doesn't justify using a piece of military equipment to run him over," the fat cop retorted.

"I still can't believe you're going to charge them," shot back the lawyer. "Once a jury sees how terrified these two were, and that it was Private Reevers, a convicted sexual predator who for some reason is placed at a guard post where he can target little girls and how they tried to make the best of the situation, knowing that the controls to stop the tank jammed, I believe they will tip in my favour. I'm sure there will be a few concerned mothers on that jury."

"You underestimate the power of the prosecution," chuckled the fat cop. "They'll be trying you as adults. And you two little brats will be serving jail time for a long time."

Unknown Room

"So you got the information I asked for?" asked a voice of a middle-aged man.

"Yes Commander Von Croy," replied a female's voice. "The data from both Elly Simpson and Brianna Diwiryo are here sir. May I ask why you wanted their information so badly?"

"Oh you never know. Since they're in the system at the moment, I was just curious to see how much potential these two kids had." A shuffling of papers is heard as the man hums out loud. A silence is heard before he speaks again. "Well nothing really on Diwiryo, as expected. Now let's take a look at Simpson." He reads through. "Huh? Did I read that right?" he asks aloud. And so he looked through it again. "Oh my god."

"Something wrong Commander?" the woman asked with concern.

"Yes. Simpson's readings. They're phenomenal! She has the potential! We have it right here! I need to speak with her immediately!"

"I'll make the arrangements," said the woman.

"Yes! And make it top priority!"

Elly's House

It was quite the last 24 hours for Elly. She had been released into her parent's custody awaiting trial for a numerous amount of charges. The same fate had also befallen her friend Bri. Just like that, because some pervert wanted to get his hands on some breasts, and even though he failed, he had managed to almost completely ruin their lives. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was now indeed dyed strawberry blonde and she had fake contacts to make her eyes appear pink. This was to hopefully hide herself from anyone who may have seen her that day. She was wearing a pink t-shirt, pink jeans, and pink socks.

Speaking of her parents, they decided not to punish her at all, saying she acted on her impulses that told her to protect herself from impending harm. And they also had persuaded her to plead not guilty in court when arraignment time would come within a few days. Bri also wasn't punished citing the same reasons.

As she was about to go to the kitchen, the doorbell rang. So on impulse she decided to answer the door. As she opened the door, she saw a huge man sitting at the door. "Are you Elly Simpson?" he asked.

"I'm Commander Rainer Von Croy of NERV Sydney," said the man. "And I have an incredible offer for you Miss Simpson.

About a half hour later, Elly, her parents, and Commander Von Croy were all sitting in the family room. Apparently, according to the Commander, Elly was a very unique girl indeed. He told Elly's parents that he wanted to use her in a military experiment that could potentially help save the world. He promised that if Elly would agree to participate in this experiment and that she didn't tell a soul about it, Von Croy would pull some strings and that she and her friend Bri would be absolved of all charges.

"So Elly, do you accept my offer?" asked the Commander.

She thought for a moment, but when she shook the big man's hand, there was no doubt in her mind of her decision.

Elly's Room

"So that's the story?" Zack asked, overly shocked. "So what happened to that soldier?"

"Last I heard," wondered Elly, "that bloke finally went to jail, and now he's the one playing the role of 'little girl' if you know what I mean."

"I think I do." He then took a look at the clock on Elly's dresser. "Uh oh, I gotta go. I overstayed my welcome again. I better get going before Misato thinks we were at it again." He sat her back up as he stood up and prepared to leave.

"Ah well. You can come back anytime mate, except when I'm sleeping." She reached up to give him a nice juicy kiss before he darted out the door.

Not long after he left, the phone rang. Elly then picked up the phone. "Hello, you've called the Land of where the Pink runs free." She then listens to the voice on the other end. "Oh hi Commander." Another pause. "Yes I'll get to it right away. And no I wasn't sleeping with him again." She listened in a little more before Gendo hung up.

Apparently the Commander wanted his dinner. "Joyous. He wants lobster tonight. Who does he think I am, the Wonder Chef?"

A/N: And there you have it! The 5th Antic in. Well I admit this one may not be as funny as the others. But just you wait for the next one! It'll be a real blast which I hope blows the other Antics away! Until then, be cool!


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